Ok so May's approaching. May is the most scariest month of the year, mainly because in French May is spelled Mai. Anyways, I'll be leaving for the support position in May, and will be there for about 3 weeks. Exciting, but now as it approaches, I'm starting to wonder if I'm ready to actually support? I mean I thought I was? But when I think I got my dose of experience there's a shit load of things I still can't do right! We never stop screwing up.
I think I'll have to borrow Mai's camera :D Sure, I'll be taking the fisheye, but there's only so much shots I can take per day with film. Now, if film was cheap, like say 4 rolls a dollar, well than I'll be friggin' set.
And I've been thinking about this whole mindset I'm running on. I'm always... ahead of myself. Looking far away, not seeing whats near me. Like for example this moving out plan I've had since graduating high school. I really really really do want to move the fuck out. Having my own place to store my shit would be unimaginably fun. Having my friends over, over-night game nights, or simply the solitude it offers. The problem I'm finding is I'm so caught up in this need, I fail to see what I can do in my current position. I'm stuck in this limbo of seeing what I want, wanting nothing but it, that I'm just neglecting my current opportunities.
So I've decided to relax. I try hard to by happy and focus on improving on what is now. Yeah yeah yeah, I know you bastards see that as common sense, but go figure. Your perspective on things change a lot when you suddenly change your depth of field. It's nice to have a blurry background.
Plus, Ronny's right. My mom will never let me move out till I prove I can support myself properly. This is the part where I wish I had white parents. You know, like Ryan's parents.
I think I'll have to borrow Mai's camera :D Sure, I'll be taking the fisheye, but there's only so much shots I can take per day with film. Now, if film was cheap, like say 4 rolls a dollar, well than I'll be friggin' set.
And I've been thinking about this whole mindset I'm running on. I'm always... ahead of myself. Looking far away, not seeing whats near me. Like for example this moving out plan I've had since graduating high school. I really really really do want to move the fuck out. Having my own place to store my shit would be unimaginably fun. Having my friends over, over-night game nights, or simply the solitude it offers. The problem I'm finding is I'm so caught up in this need, I fail to see what I can do in my current position. I'm stuck in this limbo of seeing what I want, wanting nothing but it, that I'm just neglecting my current opportunities.
So I've decided to relax. I try hard to by happy and focus on improving on what is now. Yeah yeah yeah, I know you bastards see that as common sense, but go figure. Your perspective on things change a lot when you suddenly change your depth of field. It's nice to have a blurry background.
Plus, Ronny's right. My mom will never let me move out till I prove I can support myself properly. This is the part where I wish I had white parents. You know, like Ryan's parents.
1 comment:
i wish my background was blurry and not the foreground. and you don't want white parents..trust me
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