wake up

today after work, me, mai, and fahim got on the streetcar to go home, it's change from my usual subway ride. i actually kinda like it more, the subway feels so lonely. i guess it's because of the dark nothingness of the tunnels, sometimes i wonder why they have so many windows in subways.

we sat in the front, which was another change. usally sit in the back. in the front you can really see where your going, not to mention hear the bus driver talk. luckily this one had a sense of humor. i asked mai where this streetcar is going, before she could answer, a voice from behind us answered, which was weird but funny at the same time. i never did turn to see how the voice looked. anyway, soon fahim got off at river, couple of stops later mai was off too. after she got off, the driver made a funny comment to me, which woke me up.

the driver started talking to me, at first about school. then we got more serious, started talking about the big one, life. thats what a chilly night in a streetcar, on top of a hill, overlooking the cityline, does to you, you start talking about life. the city did look amazing, i've seen it millions of times from that exact location, but tonight it was so different. almost felt like the window of the street car was a television screen, with a video of a cityline panning by.

he got married when he was 18, he said. last april i think was his 25th anniversary. so i guess that makes him what? 43 years old? give or take a few years i suppose. he's been with the ttc for 22 years. "life goes by fast eh?", he asked me. i said yeah. he told me sometimes it's hard to think of when you were little, i agreed. then he told me when he was my age he thought life was endless, that he was carefree, then something about his 25 years of marrige being like a total different story. i didn't quite understand if he was talking about his marrige postively or negatively. i think what he was trying to say was, life goes by fast, you have to make the best of it, not ease back and expect the best to find you. the guy behind me added in some stuff too, but it was about his friend he knew who has also been married for 25 years and how thats a rare thing these days. the driver agreed on it being a rere, but also sneakingly nudged that maybe thats a good thing and giggled and mention he had been "kicked around a few times". im guess he cheated, hehehehe.

i got off at broadview, and went down to the subway. thought about what the driver said on my way home while listening to amsterdam. on the bus home from lawrence station i was dozing in and out of sleep. someone leaving bumped my shoe and said sorry, i was too sleepy to reply i just looked up, and there it was. that damn sign again! the advertisement for the ttc, with the slogan "How far will you go?!", that completly woke me up. learn'd alot tonight, alot. happy i did, hope it's not too late.

damn, did i mention i did not have a coffee all day. i usally have a coffee during close, but noooo, mai removed the cream. way to go, no cream, no coffee for pv.