inside the purple chick magnet

Yepp thats right you bastards, I was Grimace for a day (last sunday infact!). OMFG it's hot in there! There's this tiny fan in there WHICH DOESN'T WORK! All it does is freaken aggravate you, it's just mounted there...periodically hitting your head, letting you know it's still there...not working... DAMN THAT FAN STRAIGHT TO HELL!! Anyway the heat and discomfert was worth it. Why? HOT CUTE GIRLS CAN'T RESIST YOU! OKok, I'm not that type of guy but after awhile it got fun. NO god damnit I didn't go around grabbing ass or groping, honestly who do you think I am? Andrew? Psssh... So back to what I was saying. All these people wanted to take pictures with Grimace (I'm saying Grimace cuz it feels wierd if I say ME). It felt like I was a star! Actually it also felt like when your four years old, when every bastard out there pinchs your cheek and goes "Awwww cute!" It was great for awhile, crowds of people around you. I had to act all gay cute and shit though. Didn't mind since they don't know who I am, MUAHHAHAHAA. Umm come to think of it, I could think of atleast two people who would love to be in that purple thing. CHRIS LEE AND BILL CHAN!! LOL, jks jks guys don't flame me. Yepp it was all great...

UNTIL KIDS SHOWED UP!! Errrr I had to give hugs, play, be all nice to them. We all know I hate kids. There was this one special bastard who just SAT ON MY LEG THE WHOLE DAMN TIME I WAS THERE!! I didn't realize till I tryed to walk, damnit I couldn't even look at my leg cuz I was so friggin OBESE!! I couldn't see my feet!!!! OH then there was this crazy lady!! She wanted me to CARRY HER BABY!! WTF?! I couldn't even clap my hands how the hell am I suppose to carry a baby?! I'm trying my best to gesture a "NO" but she thinks I'm asking for a hug or something. Plus? What if I dropped her baby, LAW SUIT McDONALDS! esssh. She gave up cuz her son was afraid of me, HE CRIED!! MUUHAHAHHAHHAHA I felt a bit better after that, though that bastard was still sitting on my leg.

After awhile I got used to the little bastards, even that one who was on my leg. I also experienced how it would be to be really fat. How you can't see your feet, or how it's hard for you to fit threw doors. It was funny how I bumped people off their feet though ^__^;; Also funny when I waved at those professional type looking people and they'd get all white and wouldn't know what to do, lol. A struggle taking off the suit, Gord's helped me. Man was I drenched....but it was fun, I'm thankful I got to do that before I left. Going to miss working there. Going to miss the people...the smell, that damn dirty washroom, the tiny mens change room, comlpaining about the huge ladies change room, making fun of everyone, ¹yelling "fie-Dee!!" at Shelly, phillip & mai jokes, HAHAHA "MAI-BAD phillip", dirty jokes with mark, cheeko, phillip (cock!), making fun of janny non-stop, throwing ice down peoples shirts, pissing-off the back with my stupid grilling mistakes (like no cheese then adding extra cheese), yelling "GOOD JOB LADIES!" at the back when there are also guys working there (hehe), making sloppy ice-cream cones (MUUHAHHAHA U BASTARDS), "helping" the back, raymond and his advice which he always links to something sexual even if it's something thats unsexual as stacking bags of chicken in the freeezer, my managers and how they're so fun and understanding, the hot-chocolat machine which NEVER fills to the top, that cool water spray thingy which shoots out water at really high perssure COOOOL, the coffee brewing machine (ENDLESS SOURCE FOR ME!), customers from around the world, the french ones asking for beer.... and finally closing which usually means me dancing with the mop. Goodbye


¹"Fie-Dee!" means something like "faster!" in cantonese. I usually yell it when she's making the sandwich, then she usually curses at me in cantonese and I'm like "god damnit".